In deep and it's deadly.

I’m on the edge of a precipice, waiting for my heart to make it’s decision. I am at one of those grandiose moments which movie’s are made from, this is a pivotal, the pivotal, moment.

I cannot go on living this way, physically or mentally. I’ve ruptured my entire existence, EVERYTHING is broken. I either kill myself or make some serious and very life altering decisions.
So, what is a girl to do?

I honestly don’t know if I have the strength to take up this fight again but I couldn’t bare to hurt my family. I also can’t live how I currently am, with how I’m currently feeling and acting. I’m terrifying myself. I’m fucked.

The reason why I started this blog...

My life has been on a steady downward spiral for a few months now. See, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder early last year, a very late diagnosis considering in the past seven years I've been hospitalized twice for an eating disorder and thrice for suicide attempts. Anyway, I was diagnosed correctly and thought I was well on my way to a whole and happy life. I've had a considerable relapse.

This blog is me getting back on my feet and fighting the dark side tooth and nail. I refuse to let it get the best of me. I've got goals and plans and will strip myself bare on this blog, it will force me into action, I will be held accountable for my actions. I do hope I'll have support along my journey but if not, it's fine, I am strong enough to go it alone. This blog is mine, as is the world.